as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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