would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
