I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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