This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
