just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
My ATM looks so different sober.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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