I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
The air taste purple.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize