Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
