ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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