we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
