Buhtt sex?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize