we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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