you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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