I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
