So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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