i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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