either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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