I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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