Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
