I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
