If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
