Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
