How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
