Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
