His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
We named our party play list daddy issues
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
