i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize