So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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