Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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