I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
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If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I see more hoeing in ur future
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