Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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