yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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