1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
