First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize