At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
