I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
