guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
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Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
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Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
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