she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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