he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
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he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
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Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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