Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize