She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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