There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize