Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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