fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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