who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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