idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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