I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
my nose is crying tears of wow.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
how does that bad decision feel?
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