I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Acid is not a monday night drug
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She's the barista slut.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
