Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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