is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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