We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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