The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
