I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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