We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
