There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Randomize
