I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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