Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize