I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
