You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I lost the right to judge tonight
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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