i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
