I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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