I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize