I cannot find my penis.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
