Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal