How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it