At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.