i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn