Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.